Comments on: Is There Forgiveness After Abortion?

By: Erica

Erica — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:35:28 +0000

JJ,

Has she considered adoption? If she is open to adoption, she can take peace in knowing she gave her baby life but would not have the responsiblity of raising her child if she is not ready. If she is in the US, open adoptions are great because you can pick the family your child would have.

If she is not open to adoption, there are many resources available to help raise children. She needs to find a good social worker.

If she is already having negative thoughts about abortion, they should only get worse.

Even though it feels like the end of the world and that there aren’t any optoins- there are. She just needs someone to support her and show her it will be okay. And most of all that she does not need an abortion to make it okay!

Good luck!!

By: JJ

JJ — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:09:53 +0000

Hi, i have a Russian friend who is a sex worker. She had sex with a korean client on September. I am not sure whelther his client deliberately used a broken condom or a condom which is broken during sex. When she discovered she was pregnant, it was already 4 weeks. Now, it is entering into the fifth week. Personally, she is a good girl. She don’t smoke, don’t drink , don’t do drugs and don’t even killed an ant in her life. She just owns a significant amount of money which she must pay back and that’s why she enters into this vice. She told me that his korean customer promises to take responsible if she is pregnant. But now, she tried to call the Korean man, the man refused to pick up her phone. She tried to email him also but there is no reply. She was in a very pity state now because she was not sure whether to undergo abortion or not. Most of her friends advise her not to undergo abortion while some advise her to do otherwise. When i spoke with her over the phone, she was crying a lot. All she wants is for that Korean Man to take responsible because she was afraid she could not give her baby a good life even if the korean man may not love her, it’s okay. She told me that a Korean/Russian mixed race baby was very cute and ask me why his client not want, his client is also not married. As you may know, Russians belong to Eastern Orthodox Church, in fact, any religion, which i think forbid killings. I think she really can’t bear to undergo abortion especially she told me she felt something in her body, an innocent life. But at the same time she wonders whether she could take good care of a baby as a single mother. I feel sad for her and do not know how to console her. Does anybody here has a good advice for her ? Your advice is appreciated.

JJ.

By: yolanda benjamin

yolanda benjamin — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 21:35:12 +0000

I have had 4 abortions, 1 miscarry and an identical twin who died at 5 days old, and I can speak of it because I know I have been healed. I have 3 boys and 3 girls who are waiting for our reunion in heaven. I was guilty of murder and through a Memorial Session that I attended I found freedom through the power of God’s love. I know hold these sessions for women who want to be set free from the shadow and hold of abortion. Yes it’s a process but these sessions are powerful and a good place to start to face the post abortion syndromes. We deal with the guilt, shame, blame and unforgiveness we hold on to. We end it with a memorial on behalf of our babies to give them the dignity, honor and respect they so deserve. What a day filled with God’s love and the love we find for our unborn. We find they truly wait for us in heaven without condemnation towards us. Because in heaven there is only love and God tells them that we are forgiven and that we are his washed by his blood to make us whole. That’s why I know I will see them again someday and I am excited for that heavenly reunion where they are in no pain and or dismembered. I’m free because whom the Son set free is free indeed!

You can contact me via email at yo@truthministries.us or visit our site, http://www.truthministries.us

thank you

By: Erica

Erica — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:57:04 +0000

Beth,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am here to listen if you need someone. You can e-mail me at LadyDowney@yahoo.com and I will give you my phone number.

I know it is way more important for me to listen rather than talk, but I do want to say a few things….

There is nothing you can say to God that will make Him love you any less- only more. He already knows everything anyway, he was right there with you this whole time- He has never left you and have and will never stop loving you.

You need to give yourself the chance to love your baby and grieve for her. You will be reunited with her one day in heaven, where she is waiting for you- loving and forgiving you already. She’d be happy to hear from you- talk to her- feel that connection.

Having faith is believing in and loving the unseen….let yourself love her and let yourself feel her love and God’s love.

Please let me know if you would like to talk.

-Erica

By: Jason

Jason — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 00:30:22 +0000

Beth, It makes me very happy to hear some progress. The willingness to not have destructive thoughts is a big step in the right direction. It sounds like your still in the first stage of grief:Denial. Nothing you do will make this go away. As hard as it is you will have to look at this in the face. For the longest time you have allowed the guilt of having done it control you. When you’re ready, you will have enough confidence to stand up turn around and look at this thing in the face and come to terms with, accept, and forgive yourself for what happened. I recently had a surgery where the surgeon left the wound open. Just like wounds on our body heal from the inside out so do emotional and mental wounds. This will require you to forceably dig deep in to your past to the root of the cause of what led to your abortion and forgive. You will heal. It’s just a matter of time.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:00:19 +0000

Its been a while since I have been on here…Had some bad days and some that I dont think about it constantly. Been working alot…cant believe I’m going to be 32 and I had a chance to have an 8 month old right now…..It makes me very sad….and lonely. Pretty much just working all day long to where i am just exhausted when I come home….so I dont think so heavly on the loss….By now…most my friends now and even some family….everyone has been very understanding and keeps reaffirming I made the right decision…I’m still in protest…but its hard to keep protesting cause there is nothing I can do to change it. Found myself continuing to make poor decisions…so working on loving myself enough to not be so self destructive. But its hard….its an everyday struggle to not take the easy road. All I keep thinking is that I am 31 with no boyfriend…lost all my 20’s and no children…Who is going to want me? But its just something I have to live with, that maybe this is MY consequence to MY decision….
But I do thank everyone for your comments.

By: Vlad

Vlad — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:17:37 +0000

Beth,

Accepting God’s forgiveness and forgiving yourself is the furthest thing of a “cop out”. In fact it is absolutely necessary step to take for many reasons, and many women will tell you it is probably one of the most difficult things they have done.

If you don’t and have a child, the relationship with your living child is running a risk of being messed up unless you are reconcile with the one that was aborted. Coup outs are easy, this is not.

As far as your former boyfriend is concerned, leaving you and going to be with another woman when you told him you where pregnant is not the best way tell assure he wanted to keep the baby.

As Water says, God knows your heart, he sees it all and he knows how sorry you are and how much pain you going through every day. God wants none of his children to suffer like that.

By: Jason

Jason — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:04:57 +0000

We all make mistakes. Some big and costly, some small and insignifigant. You made a bad mistake. There are millions of other women and men who have done this. It’s nothing new. You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last. Like I said earlier, sooner or later you will be at the end of this rope and you will want to get on with your life. When you get there, you will truly heal.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:56:09 +0000

I feel like that is a cop out. I know that sounds horrible, but I feel like i should be punished. All I think about now is that i am getting to old to have children and that is my punishment and i dont know if i can handle that. I think about the father and i feel sooooo horrible for him, he wanted to keep the baby and i was just so selfish. I cant believe that I acted the way i did.

By: Water

Water — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:57:31 +0000

I went through a similar situation recently and the only thing helping me through this is the mercy and grace of God. I completely regret my decision which I made because I was told something was wrong with the baby. I should have never taken that decision, but I somehow justified it at the time. I know I cannot take back the decision, but God knows what is in my heart and what I am feeling. I wish I would have been closer to God when I made this decision, but I was not and made a selfish decision out of fear of not being able to handle the situation. The only thing I can do now is become more God conscious with every decision I make and ask God for his forgiveness. In my religion we are taught God is most merciful most gracious and he forgives all sins if we repent and sincerely ask. Put yourself in God’s hands and He will take care of you for He is most Gracious most Merciful. God loves us and knows we sin. He also loves when a servant sincerely repents. God does not benefit from us, but we benefit from loving him and relying on him. I’ve asked God to keep me on the straight path and I will do my best to follow.

By: Jason Barrett

Jason Barrett — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:55:22 +0000

I know. It will be hard for a while. You are in the first of the 5 stages of grief. Admitting you feel pain is a step in the right direction. You will live through this. You will raise your head to the sun and be filled with joy again. Nothing is too hard for God.

By: Water

Water — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:50:54 +0000

I hope you are doing ok Beth, you are in my prayers.

By: Water

Water — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:07:39 +0000

Beth, i am going through the same thing right now. Mine was about 1 month ago and each day since this happened I keep asking myself how I could have made such a decision. I keep waking up with nightmares and cannot make it through most days. The only thing keeping me going is my faith in God. I made the decision out of fear, selfishness and believing in my mind that I could not raise a child who had special needs/medical conditions.

Jason is right. We don’t think we are capable of making such big mistakes and when we do we are shocked at how weak we are. I know that God knows what is in our hearts and he knows how much I regret the decision. I don’t know how to heal at this moment other than asking God for forgiveness and praying that he bestows that upon all of us. Please ask him for the same and surround yourself with family who loves you. I will pray for you and hope you can find peace.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:29:46 +0000

I know it hurts. Know that you didn’t get into this situation by just one decision and you won’t get out of it with just one decision either. This is a recovery PROCESS. There was a series of events that led to this decision and there will be a series of events that lead to your recovery. I don’t believe you want to live like this for the rest of your life. The five stages of grief are Denial/Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. It sounds like you may still be in that first stage. It’s ok. Give yourself time and you will progress. There are millions and millions of people all over the world who are dealing with this as well, you are not alone. You should find a support group or clinic in your area to go to which will provide you with acceptance and community..one good one is Operation Outcry. They specialize in helping women and men cope with an abortion. There are people who live great lives after an abortion and you can too but you must make that choice. If you have a best friend who you love and will tell you the truth no matter what…hold on to them for dear life. Surround yourself with people like that who love you and will tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t give two cents for someone who coddles me on the way to hell…you know what I mean?

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 03:12:39 +0000

Its just sooo hard. I hurts so bad.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:58:24 +0000

You were weak because you are human. Humans are weak. I’ve learned that in the areas I’m strong in my life, someone else is weak and where I’m weak other people are strong. That’s why we need each other in life to help each other along the way. I think you are just going to have to decide am I going to live my life and get all I can out of it or not. When you reach that point of desperation you will see light. I have to commend you for reaching out though. It’s hard to talk about, I know, but keeping it all inside is only going to make things worse.

By: Beth

Beth — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:41:45 +0000

I have bad days, and then really really bad days. And when I feel ok and make it through the day with no big deal..i feel guilty. I see all my friends who have kids, those that are now divorced and still they were able to make the decision to keep their baby, why was I so weak? Why couldnt i do it when thats all I ever wanted?

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:07:29 +0000

Beth,

It’s ok to not to be ready…. It took me years to be. Again feel free to e-mail if you want to talk.

Not sure you’ve read my previous comment:

http://www.healing-after-abortion.com/is-there-forgiveness-after-abortion/#comment-8250

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:32:26 +0000

Ask God to reveal his grace. Get in the word like you never have before. Refuse to let this end your life. Fight, Fight, Fight! Do not let the guilt suck you in. You need to ask yourself if you really believe in God or not. Do not let your feelings define your life. Stand on God’s word. Isaiah 43:25 says ” “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake and remembers your sins no more.” Do you believe the word of God or not. I promise you you will get tired of living like you are and you will want to live on. Accept responsibility, repent and move on. It’s the only mature thing to do.

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 01:23:09 +0000

I’m just not ready… but thank you for your concern.