November 1, 2006
Imagine a car going 80 miles per hour and then comes to sudden stop caused by a solid wall. The picture to the right shows what can happened to that car. One can only imagine what may have happen to people inside that car.
During the pregnancy woman’s body is set in motion that will last and continually change over the period of the entire 40 weeks of pregnancy. There is not a single part of the womans body that is not touched by these changes. The changes rage from visible signs to invisible changes in hormones. This process begins at the very moment of conception some effects last beyond pregnancy.
During pregnancy breasts are changing do to hormones (estrogen) that are preparing for the future nourishment of her child. Her hear must work harder, to provide more blood flow to the uterus, generally the amount of blood pumped by a heart of woman that is pregnant increases by 30 to 50%. Like the heart, her kidneys work harder to filter increasing amount of blood. The increased production of progesterone sends a signal to her brain to lower the amount of carbon dioxide in the blood, as a result pregnant woman breathes faster and deeper in order to exhale carbon dioxide. Her digestive system is affected and many women report unusual cravings for different foods and of course “mornig sickness” is caused by changes in digestive system. Virtually every hormone in her body is affected.
An abortion puts a sudden stop to all these changes. No one in their right mind could argue that abortion has no affects on woman’s body. In fact it is like driving a car straight into a solid wall. But even in such accidents there may be a miracle of survival. There is not such miracle for a woman that has gone through an abortion, it does not turn the clock back and make her “un-pregnant”. But what is most upholding is that so called “doctors” can lie time and over again that abortion will not affect you at all.
Posted in Abortion, Abortion facts, After abortion, Women 
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November 1, 2006
Every woman walking into an abortion clinic is greeted by a lie. “99.9% of women”, she is being told “have not experienced any complications, in fact most of the women can feel a relief after the procedure”. But they never mention that this so called relief leaves you absolutely empty inside, stripped of your dignity. Yes even of that little dignity that is being provided to you, by offering you too keep your own socks. I never understood why would they have you keep your own socks on while dressed in the surgical gown, but this was the last you of your dignity before it is completely stripped away- your own socks.
The relief you may feel after the abortion is very deceiving, it is temporary and if it lasts few days you will be very lucky.
They told you that 99.9% of women do not experience any complication. But they don’t tell you that down the road your heart will be torn apart. They never tell you to expect dreams of babies. They never tell you that some times you will hear a baby cry when there is no baby around. They never tell you that every time you see a child, your heart will sink and you will wonder “How would my child looked like?” And you can’t share it with no one since you have been told that 99.9% of women are just fine, and you begin to believe that you are the only one these things are happening to.
Why am I writing these things? Many reasons. If you are a woman that have had an abortion you will now what I am taking about. If you have not come to peace yet, you should know that there are people willing to help you and you are not alone.
I am writing this also for women that may be faced with the choice of abortion. I don’t know your situation and but I can understand it is not a simple one. You may consider and abortion out of the fear that your parents would find out that you are pregnant. Maybe your boyfriend is threatening to leave you. I probably will never know what is your situation. If you are reading this I would like you to know that there are other options. If your particular situation is stressful and you feel like you are being pressured by others to have an abortion, think about some one you may be able to trust and turn to. Maybe a member of your family or a friend. In your area there may be places and people that can provide you with assistance and help.
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November 1, 2006
Number of women after having terminated pregnancy through abortion may become overwhelmed with guilt and may become pregnant again desiring to replace the child lost. While some of the women carry the second baby to terms, studies have shown that most of the second abortions take place within a year of the first one. If the pregnancy does take place as a result of desire to replace a child it definitely should be treated as a “crisis” pregnancy, with much needed support and tender loving care, otherwise repeated abortion may take place.
In spite of what is being told about abortion, its aftereffects are profound and our society has not began yet to fully realize the extent of damage abortion can cause. If an abortion has taken place in a marriage it is very likely to disrupt the dynamics of a healthy and happy family. It is particularly true if subsequent children were born out of desire to replace what was lost to the abortion. But it does not affect only children that are born after an abortion, it affects children that were born before as well. Some children may develop a “survival syndrome”, while not being a medical or psychological term, it definitely exists in many children that were affected by abortion. These children will do just anything they can in order to please their parents and people around them. They often may feel that they can not do enough to earn respect and love. But on the other hand if a child is misbehaving and call for some discipline and reprimand, parents may be so overwhelmed with guilt over past abortion that hesitate to reprimand the child when they called to so. This inability to discipline and reprimand the child can be present in parent-child relationship in both with children that were born before abortion as well as with children that were born after.
Children that are born after abortion, and in particular children that were born out of desire to replace a child lost, may go through some very difficult times in their relationships with their parents. One of the most difficult parts that parents need to learn that nothing will ever replace what was lost. This can be done by acknowledging that what was lost was very precious, unique and irreplaceable, and help bring a closure. Many teenagers have asked “Why don’t you accept me for who I am?!” While this kind of question can be result of a rebellion stage of their lives, one can not help but wonder whether the parents see in this child some one else? Not only did they see some one else, but it is very possible they wanted to be that child some one else. In the mind of parents the child, that would have been born if abortion did not take place, is better and the child that they have never meets their expectations.
To brake through this kind of vicious cycle, the couple who may have had an abortion would need some deep soul searching and maybe some professional help as well. The good news that there are many people today who come forth and talk about their personal experience of abortion and its aftereffects on their lives. The support groups are being formed around the world where people help each other on the path of healing after abortion.
Posted in Abortion, Abortion facts, After abortion, Women 1 Comment »
November 1, 2006
We dedicate our website to Saint Mary Magdalene, one of the most fascinating persons in the New Testament. We consider her our personal patron and saint. Mary Magdalene is often identified with with woman who had been caught in adultery, the woman miraculously saved by Jesus from being stoned to death. Here is that story:
Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple; all the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now the law of Moses commanded us to stone such. What do you say about her?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bend down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you, be the first to throw stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground.
But hen they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the eldest, and Jesus was left along with the woman standing before him. Jesus looked up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again.”
John 8:1-11 While you may have heard or read this story many times in the past, I would like you to look at it fro maybe a little different point. This woman identified as a prostitute elsewhere in the New Testament. To keep her “profession”, her life was very likely scarred by abortion, or maybe even by many abortions. So when Jesus forgives her, his forgiveness is much deeper than just an act of adultery. There is so much more to this story, and I will try to touch up on it in the future. For now I will leave you with this single thought. Even if you feel like every one around is condemning you for abortion, turn to Jesus because he will say to you, “I do not condemn you, go and do not sin again.”
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November 1, 2006
If you are a priest or/and a clergy member, there will be a time in your ministry when you will face some one who was involved in abortion; a woman who had it, a man who payed for one, father who may have forced on her daughter. I am speaking only from my own painful experience here, and in no way would like to say that every one had been through the same. As a little child, I confessed once stealing an eraser and got yelled at by my confessor. I know this accident may sound insignificant, but it was enough to turn me away from confession for the years to come. When a woman comes to you for confession or advise, please do not judge her. She has already judged herself, and probably is convinced that the only place she is going to is hell. It is an opportunity given to you by God to point her towards heaven and salvation. Being a priest or minister you do represent God to her, and your words are no longer yours. If she needed to talk just to another person, friend or a psychologist she probably would not have come to you. She turns to you because no one could provide her with answers. She turns to you because, some where in her heart, there is still hope that maybe God will forgive her. Unfortunately many a times, women a ripped off their hope in forgiveness by no other than clergy member. It would be very good idea to prepare yourself for an event like that. Some times it may take much more than just one confession or one counseling session, and healing after abortion may take years. The good news is that there are people out there who have been through abortion, have found their way to healing and are willing to share with others. Look around an find out if there are any support groups or ministries near your church that are working with people who have had abortions. Encourage creating such ministries at your own church. Keep handy names of a few doctors who will be willing to see woman who have had an abortion if emergency arises. It will be difficult to find such doctors, due to the possible litigations and no one would want to clean some one else’s mess, and that is alright, sooner or later you will come across a doctor who will not mid to help you. When she comes to you, it may be her very first step on the road of healing and you may be the one to point her towards the right direction. Things to be mindful of:
Abortion may have been recent and she may have suffered complications and needs medical attention. It is very unlikely she would go for the follow up to the same doctor that she had abortion at. If needed she should be sent to an emergency care room. She may be pregnant with another child. Most of the second abortions occur within one year of the first one. If she is pregnant, she needs to be referred to some one who knows how to handle a “crisis” pregnancy. Finally, she may have had more than one abortion. It is fine to ask her if this is the only abortion she had. Many women say that one of the most difficult things to do is to come up with the “number” if they had more than one abortion. Women also say that getting the number out is very healing. Do not be surprised or taken back by the number you hear. Every number generally represents years of guilt and self-punishment.
Finally, this kind of ministry will probably be most rewarding experience for you. You are one of the most important people these women will ever meet besides God himself. Picture by: tome213
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November 1, 2006
One of the biggest fear that a woman who had been through the abortion, is the constant reminder how terrible her action was. This is the first kind of reaction she is likely to receive once people learn about her abortion. Sadly to say, but this reaction can come from her closest family and friends, but also from the her church community. In the woman’s mind, she is definitely going to hell for what she has done, what you or others can do is to show her the way to heaven. I highly recommend the book written by Pope John Paul II. Yes, even if you are not catholic, I strongly recommend this book. The title of the book is “The Gospel Of Life”, and its not only educational, but this encyclical gave birth to post abortion healing ministries within the church. Here is just short quote from the book:
I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone’s right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.
If nothing else, this book can become very educational in terms of learning what is the true teaching of the catholic church in respect to abortion. This book is available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble, if you cannot afford drop me a line.
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November 1, 2006
One day I asked God to show me a sign. As I was driving to church, there was one big cloud over in the sky in the form of eyes. I knew at that moment that God has forgiven me for the sin of abortion, and he forgives you too. Go back to Him, because He loves you. This is the photo that I took:
Many people can see this as a pure coincident. For me it was a clear sign from God, and it also was the beginning of my journey of healing. Here at my website I would like to share with you my journey. You may or may not be suffering from abortion at this time. No matter who you are, you are welcomed here. I hope that sharing my journey with will help you to understand that God loves you and he forgives you. All he wants is that you will forgive yourself and move to a better place in your life. No matter what people say abortion can not be qualified as a “non-event”. Other things can, but not abortion. If you cut a finger, for example, two weeks from now you would need to stop and think what finger was it, this is what a “non-event” is, it does not alter your life. It is never like that with abortion. Abortion alters people life’s a leaves permanent marks all over. People who were involved in abortion generally react to abortion itself by various actions. They either become active advocates of the procedure, fierce opponents, and some time quiet sufferers. But rarely can some one say that abortion had no effect over their life whatsoever. Right from the beginning I would like you to know, that no matter what your attitude towards abortion is, I will not judge you. All that I intend to do is to share how devastating abortion was for me and how God gently guided me to the place where I am now.
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November 1, 2006
This is my last post. The new website is almost ready and by tomorrow should be fully functional. My new web site can be found at http://www.healing-after-abortion.com, unfortunately you will have to book mar my new site and delete the old one.
What happens if you subscribed to your website through RSS?
If you added my website’s feed to Google, Yahoo, or any feed-read application, this move should not affect you and you will continue to receive updates from my website. In fact for the next day or two, you may receive some old articles as “new”, just be patient and ignore them, i am not trying to “spam” you in any way. If you find out that your subscription has been discontinued, it was not my intention you are welcomed to subscribe to my website again.
Why new website?
I always wanted to create a forum for the people who are waling the path of healing after abortion. It is only possible with a privately hosted website. The forum is the only major addition to the website, the look and the feel of my new website is very similar to what you have seen here.
Will you continue to post here as well?
I have no intention to continue posting on this website in the future. I will however keep this blog for the next month or so, it will help with the transition.
See you on my new website!
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November 1, 2006
This is the first post on my website, as I make transfer from wordpress.com.
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